One Year Ago Today

At this exact time last year I was being prepped for my C-Section. It had been the longest 26 hours. Shay was exhausted and pale from not eating and pacing all over the hospital for that whole day. We were both a huge bundle of nerves. It was the strangest feeling to say "good-bye" to all my friends and family as they were wheeling me down the hall. Even stranger to think that the next time I was wheeled down there I would have a baby. As we turned the corner of my room I burst into tears. I think the exhaustion and nerves just hit me all at once. My doctor was sitting at the desk and when he saw me coming and crying he made the nurse stop. I will never forget him looking at me and telling me to just relax it would all be fine (he was very good with me and knew exactly how to handle me through out the whole pregnancy). Before I went into that room I said a quick prayer just asking God to calm my nerves, and He did. As soon as we went through the doors I was completely relaxed. They were prepping me and I remember saying to the nurse, "Don't forget to get my husband before they cut her out." The nurse laughed and said "we won't, don't worry." A few minutes later, just like the nurse said they brought Shay in. From there everything went so fast. All of the sudden the doctor lifted my baby over the sheet for a very brief second and said "Happy Birthday." Shay immediately said, "She looks just like me." I was thinking there is no way he can tell that fast what she looked like, especially because she was covered in green stuff. He was right however, she looked just like him. They cleaned her up and weighed her and brought her to me to see. I obviously couldn't touch her because I was strapped down to the table. Then Shay and the baby were gone just like that. It felt like it was taking them forever to get me put back together. I couldn't stand knowing that everyone was outside with my baby, but me! I do not like to be left out of things, especially that! So I went to sleep and snored all the way through them sewing me up. After all, I had been awake for the better part of 26 hours.

I remember this all like it was yesterday. I'm sure it is something you never forget. And even with all the nerves and hard recovery it was still the neatest experience. It was so surreal. I would love to do it all over again, I'm just that crazy. I absolutely cannot believe that it has been a whole year since that day. I have been looking at Mary Selwyn all day and thinking there is no way she has been here for a year. It has all gone by way to fast. I try my hardest daily to enjoy every minute with her because they are gone before you know it.

This child is the light of our lives. She has this red hair and big blue eyes, with super long eye lashes. You cannot help but fall more and more in love with her every time you look at her....or better yet, every time she looks at you. She is so loving. She loves to snuggle and give kisses. I taught her to give kisses very early on. This was the first thing she learned. I insisted on having an affection child and I am proud to say all my efforts were successful. Most days she can't stand to not be in your lap or your arms. She is perfectly content just sitting, snuggling and reading books for hours and hours. That is for the most part our daily routine. The sweetest kisses are the ones right before she goes to sleep and first thing when she wakes up. These are the times that she feels the need to give them to you one after the other after the other. I can never get enough.

She loves baby dolls, purses, wallets, cell phones and books. Just like every girl should. She will carry a baby doll under her arm all day some days just patting it on the back. She is such a nurturing little "mommy" at such a young age. I hope that I'm a good example.

She also has a big bag of tricks these days. She can quack like a duck and roar like a tiger. She can say kitty and doggy. She can show you her nose, mouth, eyes and hair. She can also show you your nose, mouth, eyes and hair, and does so sometimes without much warning. She knows her fingers and her toes too. She can clap and dance and tell you how old she it. She is very smart. Mary Selwyn is also already an Auburn girl through and through. She has a tiger puppet that plays the fight song and she walks around making it sing with her other arm in the air flailing about in a dance/cheer motion. She makes her mommy and daddy very proud!

Seems like she can do 100 things and is learning new ones everyday but the thing she does the best is melt my heart. I just look at her and my heart swells and then overflows with so much love. Love I didn't know I was capable of feeling. I think to myself "does everyone love their child this much? Does everyone feel this way?" I'm sure the answer is yes even though to me it just doesn't seem possible that anyone could love someone else as much as I love her. I adore everything about her and I can NEVER get enough of my sweet Melly Sellen!

I cannot believe it has been a whole year. Shay and I are the luckiest parents to have such a precious little red-head. She is an enormous blessing and I hope that I am able to show her that everyday. Happy Birthday Mary Selwyn! We love you!

(Just some pictures from this last year. Same old story, more pictures to come!)